RALPH BLUM
Apparently loss of hearing isn’t the only loss we’re
subject to in these latter years. Oh well, “Direction, erection—as long as
you’ve still got your health, right?
The first breakthrough in treating erectile
dysfunction (ED) came at the 1983 American Urological Association meeting in
Las Vegas when Dr. Giles Brindley injected his penis with the drug
phentolamine. Following the injection, Dr. Brindley appeared on stage and
dropped his pants to display one of the first recorded, drug-induced erections
to a startled audience of urologists and their wives.
It wasn’t until 1998, when the FDA gave Pfizer the
go-ahead for their little blue pill, that erectile dysfunction (ED) came out of
the closet, and, thanks to Viagra, men no longer had to self-inject their penis
or use a vacuum pump in order to get and keep an erection, aka “hard-on.”
In case you wondered, “hard-on” is a synonym for “boner”
or "blunder," 1912, baseball slang, probably from bonehead. The meaning "erect penis" is 1950s, from earlier bone-on
(1940s), probably a variation (with connecting notion of "hardness")
of hard-on (1893). Sure as shooting, many a hard on has resulted in
blunders! Still, losing our “blunder-making ability—erectile dysfunction or ED—is
of serious concern to a great many men.
Today, it is estimated that up to 30 million American
men frequently suffer from ED. For those of us who are over seventy, the
hydraulics of nature’s ultimate erector set are subject to ordinary fatigue and
malfunction. Many of us are dealing with the after-effects of prostate cancer
treatment. And there are dozens of other reasons, both medical and emotional,
for the inability to get or maintain an erection. So without a doubt
there is a humongous market for what my young neighbor calls “boner pills,” and
last year alone Pfizer spent $176 million on TV ads for Viagra.
Although it is almost impossible to turn on your TV
without seeing a commercial about erectile dysfunction, until recently the
content of those ads, while excellent fodder for comedians, has been fairly
subtle—usually involving an attractive middle-aged couple making goo-goo eyes
at each other, building up to the magic point “when the moment is right.” It
may be hokey, and a trifle awkward to explain to your 10-year-old daughter what
Viagra is all about, but the ads were not totally gross. Then Pfizer
changed their ad agency…
The latest Viagra commercial features a glamorous
blonde in a slinky blue dress reclining on what appears to be a mattress. Looking
directly into the camera, and in a sexy, sultry voice with a British accent,
she addresses the viewer: “So guys, it’s just you and your honey. The setting
is perfect. But then erectile dysfunction happens again.” She then takes
a stroll through a tropical setting and adds, “You know what, plenty of guys
have this issue—not just getting an erection, but keeping it.”
(Incidentally, this is the first use of the word “erection” in a TV ad outside
of the description of side effects.)
The new face of erectile dysfunction is an English
soap actress called Linette Beaumont, and she is prompting a Twitter storm. One
viewer tweeted: “Don’t need Viagra. Just need the hot blonde with the British
accent.” A less enthusiastic viewer tweeted: “Nothing is worse than
sitting next to your grandma while a hot blonde British woman talks about
erections. Thanks, Viagra.” I haven’t yet seen any of the late night talk
shows, but I imagine the hosts are having a field day.
No doubt about it, Viagra has helped countless men to
maintain an active sex life. But do we really need this kind of
advertising to get a rise out of men (pun intended)?
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